Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize