You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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