U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
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