pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
