ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Say something about gay babies.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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