Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
