shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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