I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
