I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
