Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
