Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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