Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
