1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize