I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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