Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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