You're my little dorito
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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