6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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