Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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