i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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