One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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