sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
