Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
