To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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