If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Is it penis luge time yet?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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