He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
