apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
