fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
