I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
