If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize