his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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