Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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