We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize