i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
