Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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