Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
