can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
