Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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