Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
