ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
