Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
