getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
