I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
