This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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