This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize