i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
What drink are we having for lunch?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize