Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
now i know why i became what i already was.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
