and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
