No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
