Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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