I bet he comes in French.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
