She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
