i jhust puked up my retainher.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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