Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
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