Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
