Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just cropdusted the office
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
