"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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