i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
pray to the hookup gods
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
