I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
