eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
