omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
