Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
