What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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