I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize