im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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