Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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