Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
