I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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