1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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